Friday, February 6, 2009

What Makes Me Special?

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post on my family blog titled, What makes me special? Ever since then, a minimum of one or two people every week end up on my blog by googling "What makes me special". I've been thinking about that, wondering why people would google that. What is our obsession with being special? Especially in our society where conformity seems to be at an all time high! I haven't figured out the answer, but I know the need to be special is there for all of us, especially when it comes to writing. Writing something new in this day and age where everything has been done before, is a tall order. The pressure can be intense and alot of times, we don't know what makes us special as a writer. This is something I've been struggling with in my writing.

I am taking an online Literature through my local community college as I strive to finish my Associates in Arts degree, finally! This literature class has been really helpful to me in my writing so far. I was reading one of the assignments in my textbook "Backpack Literature" by Kennedy & Gioia. The first thing that stood out at me said, "Whatever leads us to infer the author's attitude is commonly called tone." Hmmmm. That made me think, what does my tone convey in my story? The answer was: not my attitude towards my story. Which means something was wrong. The next thing that spoke to me was, "Style refers to the individual traits or characteristics of a piece of writing: to a writer's particular ways of managing words that we come to recognize as habitual or customary." BINGO!! Our style is what makes us special as writers. Most of you probably already figured this all out, but I'm a slow learner. I thought I could just write and the tone and style would just fall into place. And, well, it kind of did, but it wasn't the tone that I wanted and I'm not sure the style was really me either. So with a deep resigned sigh, I am going to rewrite the WHOLE story AGAIN! Word for word! This will be my third time doing a complete rewrite, not just editing, etc. But it must be done.

So here is a progression of my story. This is the first paragraph of Chapter One of my very first draft:

“Mikayla, are you ready?” She heard her mother yell to her up the stairs.
“Almost.” She shouted back as she applied the finishing touches to her costume. She smiled as she looked at the mirror to find a perfect maiden from the Renaissance era smiling back at her. Well, maybe not perfect, she thought again as she knew her less than average looks couldn’t be changed. But she looked past that for once as she twirled around to appreciate her dress that her grandmother had made for her. The dress had an empire waist, which help to enhance the barely more than nonexistent bust she had. At the age of fourteen, she was on the scrawny side, with not much more body than a boy. Strike that, even the boys her age seemed to be filling out better than her, she thought sardonically. But with this dress on, she could almost forget that.


Here's my first paragraph of Chapt. 1 of Second draft:

Mikayla always thought the tall fence around the wooden buildings were out of place in the desert landscape. She gazed at the Superstition Mountains that reared up nearby. They haven’t changed in the eight years she’d been coming. She knew that, yet they seemed different to her this time. They had always looked majestic to, now they just stood as a reminder of one more thing her grandmother would never see again.


Here's my new paragraph of Chapt. 1 of take Three:

The wind blew dust off the top of the Superstition Mountains down into the booming housing community of Apachie Junction. It was more like a suburb of Mesa where most of the inhabitants commuted for work. The other side of the mountains remained desert, seemingly untouched by time. Except for one thing.
Just off the highway, a dirt road led to a sea of cars, the Arizona sun glaring off the tops. The vehicles were parked in perfect formation in the makeshift parking lot that surrounded the misfit village, transporting it's occupants to another time and another place.


Ok, so your task today is to find at least one sentence in your WIP that you need to fix in some way. It doesn't have to be tone and style that you fix, but find a spot that just doesn't feel right to you and play around with some different versions. Post the sentence before you fixed it, then after. Let's see the change. Thanks! Nikki

6 comments:

  1. OOH! I LOVE your new paragraph! Wow! It's awesome to see your progression! It's so inspiring and soo intriguing! OK! I'm off to find something in my current WIP to fix.. I'll be back with what I find! Jenni

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  2. That is really cool to see the changes you made. Yeah, I discovered a lot about the tone and style of a piece when I had to do a POV shift mid-book. It is interesting how much tone and style change a story. I will start looking for a sentence to change too.

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  3. I'm currently giving myself some time and space from my first book so that I can look at it with fresh eyes for a rewrite. It's a bit overwhelming to think about doing a massive rewrite, but it's nice to know others have survived it before. :)

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  4. I know how you feel Nikki. I'm just finishing my 3rd word-by-word rewrite, my 6th major edit. It is extremely daunting at first, but for me at least, it got easier as I did it. I saw what a huge difference what I was changing did for my story and it really motivated me. I hope it goes as well for you. :)

    Here is part of mine that I re-wrote last week.

    VERSION 1

    Torgan’s thoughts were convoluted as he considered what lay before them. How should they respond to this news? His options tumbled over and over in his head as he tried to sort through them. Attempting to pin down the most logical solution and offer it to his companions.

    VERSION 2

    Standing beside the large redwood desk, Torgan leaned forward, placing his weight upon his hands. His chocolate eyes absorbed the images on the globe, burning them into his soul. Focusing in on the spot where the enemy lay in wait, he willed his mind to answer his overflowing questions. Discovering what this adversary was waiting for and why he would remain motionless had required all of his attention during the last few days.

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  5. Okay so my current WIP I'm not editing yet.. instead, as I was going through some old emails I came across this one--The very first email I sent out to give the world a taste of Pride & Popularity! You can definitely see how much my writing improved just by these few shorts paragraphs. LOL!

    Enjoy. Original partial from Chapter one P&P

    “Taylor Anderson is the HOTTEST guy EVER!” gushed, Camryn as she leaned in closer to me catching a better view of him moving across the cement basketball court in our local park. Alyssa, at my other side practically burst an internal organ while heaving,
    “I KNOW, One day I am SO going to marry him!” A pathetic sigh followed…

    Disgusted with myself for somewhat agreeing with them, I rolled my eyes.
    “Yeah, you and every other girl in this park. Look around you, is there a girl here not totally into Taylor?”

    Stunned Alyssa flipped her black hair and swerved to face me, disbelief etching her face, “Don’t you like him? I thought everybody liked him?”

    Camryn still intent on Taylor, started cheering as he made a basket. The whole bleacher area erupted as all the other girls drowned out any possible conversation… pausing I allowed the “Joy” of Taylor’s basket to die down. Of course, he would prance around with that silly grin on his face waving to his adoring fan club. I rolled my eyes again, as the roaring crowd grew deafening in response to his attention. Please, could this get any worse? The guy’s got an ego the size of Madagascar lets just inflate it more, shall we..?

    As if by some built in radar Taylor’s eyes honed in on me and my lack of enthusiasm, his lopsided grin worked all of it’s charm while approaching our section of the bleachers. Flabbergasted, I became completely speechless when he hollered out, “Hey Chloe! What’s the deal baby.. you weren’t impressed?”


    EDITED VERSION

    “Taylor Anderson is the hottest guy ever!” gushed Madison as she leaned in closer to me to catch a better view of him moving across the cement basketball court in our local park. To my right, Alyssa, who looked just like a younger Lucy Liu, practically burst an internal organ while she exclaimed, “I know! I’ve secretly dreamed of marrying him since I was ten!” A pathetic sigh followed.
    Disgusted with myself for somewhat agreeing with them, I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you and every other girl in this park. Look around you, is there a girl here not into Taylor?”
    Stunned Alyssa flipped her long black hair and turned to face me, disbelief etching her face, “Don’t you like him? I thought everybody liked him.”
    Madison, still intent on Taylor, started to cheer as he made a basket. Her sporty light brown ponytail bobbed up and down. The whole bleacher area erupted as all the other girls drowned out any possible conversation. Pausing, I allowed the fervor to die down. Of course, he would prance around with that silly grin on his face waving to his adoring fan club. I rolled my eyes again as the roaring grew deafening in response to his antics.
    Please, could this get any worse? The guy’s got an ego the size of Madagascar. Let’s just inflate it more, shall we?
    As if by some built in radar, fifteen-year-old Taylor’s eyes honed in on me and my lack of enthusiasm. His lopsided grin worked all of its charm on the crowd as he approached our section of the bleachers. Flabbergasted, I became completely speechless when he hollered out, “Hey Chloe! What’s the deal? You weren’t impressed?”

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  6. life of writing seems to = ALOT rewriting and editing - your paragraphs are excellent and i'm intriqued by the 'Superstition Mountains'(such a great name)

    Anyhoo i'm sorry if this is a bit out of the blue, but i've started a writer's forum http://thewriterschronicle.forumotion.net/index.htm
    where aspiring authors etc. can come and chat and discuss topics and ideas and basically help each other.

    I love blogging but it can be both hard to get a readership and connect with them so i thought a community forum would be a great way to network.

    The forum is only starting out but i'm hoping it will grow,

    I'd really appreciate it if you could take the time and have a look around.

    thanks emily.

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